Follow Hard After You

Today at church, I had a really special experience. I really enjoyed the worship led by Veronica as she led us into the presence of God. We sang a song about a river and Kelly got up and talked about how last night at the service, it was prophesied that there was a river of God. She reminded us that the river of God was still here, but you do have to step into it. With that and some other things that Veronica said, I knew I needed to go up to the front to spend time in God’s presence. I enjoyed my time with God and then two ladies came up to pray for me. One of them prophesied that the things which have been asleep for a long time are waking up, that God is waking up the deep desires of my heart. She used the term “that she would follow hard after you” in her prayer. The other lady prophesied that hurt from a broken heart is being washed away.

In all this, I felt a total sense of love and grace from God. I remember hearing a song in 2000 about “I will follow hard after you”. I remember how much I loved that saying. I realize now this is what I need and this is what the deep desire God is awakening. This is what I need to be doing. This is the deepest desire of my heart. It is not so much about whether or not I need to be working, what kind of things do I need to be doing for my children/husband, or what my career or calling is supposed to be, what my friendships should look like……it is this…am I following HARD after God? The honest answer lately is no, but praise the Lord that His mercies are new every morning!

That’s what my deepest desire is….to follow hard after the Lord. What does that mean? I’m not sure what all it means yet, but I do know that it means if I yield to the Holy Spirit, God will do new things in me! God is faithful. God is true. He will do what He says He will do! So, I know, I absolutely know that the Lord is with me in this.

Following hard after God has to mean spending time alone with God daily. It cannot mean just hearing about God from others, this would be like only hearing about a friend only through another. Though you can learn a lot about someone that way, nothing can replace the one on one connection that our hearts desire to feel with a friend. This is how God and me work. I can learn a lot about Him from witnessing what He is doing in the lives of others. I can praise Him for being a gracious and wonderful God. But, if I am constantly feeling the need to “catch up” with God, it means we are not totally connected. That’s where I was, but I have the desire to get to the place where we are in sync, where I truly feel his presence in my life, in every small little turn. God does not desire for me to be confused. God does not desire for me to say “later” I can do things for Him. God is “I AM” and his grace is sufficient for me!

I am reminded of the saying that “this is not a dress rehearsal” in my ministry class. I can also remember the quote “The opportunity of a lifetime must be ceased within the lifetime of the opportunity.” Thank you Lord God for this opportunity right now. Thank you that you in your sovereignty saw this very moment. Oh God, how I want this to be a life changing event, a life changing day, that the deep desire of my heart towards you would stay awakened for all the days of my life.

God, show me how to keep the desire strong. Show me the things that I can do. Discipline me and give me great friends to help me along this journey.

I praise you Lord, that your love endures forever. I praise you that you meet me where I am today, but that you will make your purpose known in me. Why not this summer of 2006 – why not now – would I be completely enthralled with you, and you with me? Lord, thank you that your arm is never too short to save. Thank you that your heart is never far from me. Thank you that you can do all things in my life. There is nothing you couldn’t do. Give me the faith to believe this with all of my heart.

May I have an open attitude towards you. Lord, I give you permission to “rock my world”. God, remind me of your still small voice. Remind me of your promises. Spirit of God, teach me and guide me. I want to live the abundant life now, Jesus. I need you so clearly. I want you to be here with me, right now, my constant companion. Teach me. Show me your ways. Teach me about Father God. Teach me about your Kingdom. Give me a job here on earth. Lord, I ask you to give me clear direction. Help me to know you, to be in community with you. I know that is where everything must start.

So, for now, I ask that you meet with me and spend time with me this week while I am out of town. May your Word come alive to me, and may my heart leap and bound with your presence. I thank you for this special time that I have. I thank you for my family, for my loving husband. I praise you that He is your Son, your child, and I want to pray for him in so many ways. Help me also to pray for my children. Lord, I ask you to show me how I can display your glory as a wife and mother.

Thank you Lord for this special day. Thank you for your renewal. Thank you for caring so much about me that you can never stop pursuing me. You have never stopped and no matter what, you never will. God, sanctify this moment. Sanctify my heart. Purify me. Bring me closer to you. I love you, and I look forward to spending more time with you. You are an awesome God and to you I owe my life.