What Really Counts

Thank you for a good night with the family, Lord! Thank you for helping me to remember what really counts. Lord, I need your presence with me even in the midst of all the busy times of life, especially in the busy times. I need your direction God. I need your peace. Thank you for giving me so many wonderful opportunities. I want to do the very best. I want to grow and teach my children to walk with You! It is cool to think about my daughter's progression physically and how she is getting to the point where she can almost be brave enough to take a first step on her own. She is so cute because she sometimes doesn't think she is as strong as she is, and sometimes she thinks she is stronger than she is....surely, I am like this in your eyes, Lord. What I want to focus on is realizing that you are calling my daughter....that she will grow and be your very own. You have given her a great spirit, a spirit of happiness and a patience and virtue that is so special. Thank you for the things you are already doing in her life. I can't wait to see what kind of interests she will grow into...thanks for allowing me to be mother. Lord, thank you that all the days of our lives are numbered and you know everything. I pray that your will be done on heaven and earth in my own life and in the lives of those I love. Thank you for such amazing friends and family...and keep dear to me all those that are dear to them. Thanks for making such little things turn out so well, Lord. I love you!!

Distractions...

I read Acts 16:1-21 tonight. I've always found it interesting about how the demon-possessed woman in this chapter was actually speaking truth. She was a fortune teller but she did speak truth in that "These men are servants of the Most HIght God, and they have come to tell you how to be saved." It is so interesting how it seems that Paul and Luke and the companions somehow put up with it for a while. I wonder if it took some time to realize that it was a demon, or if they were just hoping it would go away. Whatever the case, Paul "got so exasperated that he turned and spoke to the demon within her". When he prayed in the name of Jesus, the demon came out and the lady was free. I think this story illustrates that sometimes even when there is nothing false coming out of someone, they can be a distraction. This may be something true of when a church service gets interrupted with something that seems to be a distraction. Lord, please give me discernment when a distraction is something that needs to be dealt with and cast out in your name. Other times, God, give me focus and ability to work through the distraction. Thank you for so many examples in the Word of how to follow you!

Romans 10

I read Romans 10 tonight and what struck me was the conversation about the Jews not accepting the message of Christ. It is one of those passages that gets looked at as supporting predestination by some people. It is an interesting passage that is very hopeful about the Jewish people eventually accepting the message of Christ but it alludes to God hardening the hearts of the Jewish for a while because of their disobedience. Like everything, God uses this to his glory by allowing the Gentiles to come to know Him.

One Pure and Holy Passion

ONE PURE AND HOLY PASSION by Mark Altrogge. This is the song the blog is named after. Listen to it here.

Give me one pure and holy passion,
Give me one magnificent obsession,
Give me one glorious ambition for my life,
To know and follow hard after You.

To know and follow hard after You,
To grow as Your disciple in the truth,
This world is empty, pale and poor,
Compared to knowing You, my Lord.
Lead me on, and I will run after You.

Romans 8

"My dear friends, we must not live to satisfy our desires."

I can be so selfish. I can think about what I want when I want it, and I won't be "satisfied" until I get it. It is biblical not to live to satisfy my desires. So, how should I live? Romans 8 says to live by the Spirit of God. It says that God sent Jesus to die to give me freedom from the law of sin and death. "Only those who are led by God's spirit are his children". Lord, I want to be your child....that means I must by led by your spirit. The way Romans 8 speaks, it is saying that I will have desires that I will need to say No to. It is something I need to learn to do and to be in regular practice of doing. I need to understand there is a great purpose for saying No. I need to listen to the Spirit. My goal is to listen to the Spirit and be led.

Streets of Gold

I saw the most amazing piercing light coming down from the sun when I was on the plane. It was like this for about 10 minutes and I couldn’t stop looking at it. The whole area where the sun shone was golden, and the best thing was the river that was gold. I began to realize that God was revealing to me something about His kingdom! Just as I asked! The Lord showed me this is what streets of gold are like, and what a river of gold is like, that there are gold simply a reflection of God’s glory, just as the earthly things were reflecting the sun. Before, I had thought of the streets of gold and river of gold like God would be wanting to use nice things for his kingdom…what a wrong perspective! There is a reason for everything, and the reason there will be streets of gold is that it has to reflect God’s presence! Oh Lord, I know you are shining down on me. May I reflect your presence! Thank you for showing me so powerfully what it means to have streets and river of gold!! As soon as I typed this, the reflection was gone. Praise you Jesus! You are so good to me. You care so much about me. You desire to teach me many many things. I love you.

Follow Hard After You

Today at church, I had a really special experience. I really enjoyed the worship led by Veronica as she led us into the presence of God. We sang a song about a river and Kelly got up and talked about how last night at the service, it was prophesied that there was a river of God. She reminded us that the river of God was still here, but you do have to step into it. With that and some other things that Veronica said, I knew I needed to go up to the front to spend time in God’s presence. I enjoyed my time with God and then two ladies came up to pray for me. One of them prophesied that the things which have been asleep for a long time are waking up, that God is waking up the deep desires of my heart. She used the term “that she would follow hard after you” in her prayer. The other lady prophesied that hurt from a broken heart is being washed away.

In all this, I felt a total sense of love and grace from God. I remember hearing a song in 2000 about “I will follow hard after you”. I remember how much I loved that saying. I realize now this is what I need and this is what the deep desire God is awakening. This is what I need to be doing. This is the deepest desire of my heart. It is not so much about whether or not I need to be working, what kind of things do I need to be doing for my children/husband, or what my career or calling is supposed to be, what my friendships should look like……it is this…am I following HARD after God? The honest answer lately is no, but praise the Lord that His mercies are new every morning!

That’s what my deepest desire is….to follow hard after the Lord. What does that mean? I’m not sure what all it means yet, but I do know that it means if I yield to the Holy Spirit, God will do new things in me! God is faithful. God is true. He will do what He says He will do! So, I know, I absolutely know that the Lord is with me in this.

Following hard after God has to mean spending time alone with God daily. It cannot mean just hearing about God from others, this would be like only hearing about a friend only through another. Though you can learn a lot about someone that way, nothing can replace the one on one connection that our hearts desire to feel with a friend. This is how God and me work. I can learn a lot about Him from witnessing what He is doing in the lives of others. I can praise Him for being a gracious and wonderful God. But, if I am constantly feeling the need to “catch up” with God, it means we are not totally connected. That’s where I was, but I have the desire to get to the place where we are in sync, where I truly feel his presence in my life, in every small little turn. God does not desire for me to be confused. God does not desire for me to say “later” I can do things for Him. God is “I AM” and his grace is sufficient for me!

I am reminded of the saying that “this is not a dress rehearsal” in my ministry class. I can also remember the quote “The opportunity of a lifetime must be ceased within the lifetime of the opportunity.” Thank you Lord God for this opportunity right now. Thank you that you in your sovereignty saw this very moment. Oh God, how I want this to be a life changing event, a life changing day, that the deep desire of my heart towards you would stay awakened for all the days of my life.

God, show me how to keep the desire strong. Show me the things that I can do. Discipline me and give me great friends to help me along this journey.

I praise you Lord, that your love endures forever. I praise you that you meet me where I am today, but that you will make your purpose known in me. Why not this summer of 2006 – why not now – would I be completely enthralled with you, and you with me? Lord, thank you that your arm is never too short to save. Thank you that your heart is never far from me. Thank you that you can do all things in my life. There is nothing you couldn’t do. Give me the faith to believe this with all of my heart.

May I have an open attitude towards you. Lord, I give you permission to “rock my world”. God, remind me of your still small voice. Remind me of your promises. Spirit of God, teach me and guide me. I want to live the abundant life now, Jesus. I need you so clearly. I want you to be here with me, right now, my constant companion. Teach me. Show me your ways. Teach me about Father God. Teach me about your Kingdom. Give me a job here on earth. Lord, I ask you to give me clear direction. Help me to know you, to be in community with you. I know that is where everything must start.

So, for now, I ask that you meet with me and spend time with me this week while I am out of town. May your Word come alive to me, and may my heart leap and bound with your presence. I thank you for this special time that I have. I thank you for my family, for my loving husband. I praise you that He is your Son, your child, and I want to pray for him in so many ways. Help me also to pray for my children. Lord, I ask you to show me how I can display your glory as a wife and mother.

Thank you Lord for this special day. Thank you for your renewal. Thank you for caring so much about me that you can never stop pursuing me. You have never stopped and no matter what, you never will. God, sanctify this moment. Sanctify my heart. Purify me. Bring me closer to you. I love you, and I look forward to spending more time with you. You are an awesome God and to you I owe my life.